Thursday, April 21, 2011

十年后,我是谁?

有人说,世界末日快来了。
我也问过自己——
如果是真的,我会怎样?
会不会后悔?会不会不舍?
会不会觉得,我还没活够?

十年前,我只是个什么都不懂的孩子。
那年我12岁,刚到太平读中学。
那时候的我,肥肥矮矮的,
没有信心,做什么都怕。
怕失败,怕出丑,怕被笑。

但慢慢地,我变了。
我开始尝试为自己拼一次。
拼信心、拼勇气、拼自己的生活方式。
有些时候摔倒了,但也站起来了。
至少比以前,更像一个自己。

今天,我终于病倒了。
整天躺在床上,翻来翻去,
想了很多,想了又想。
人生走到这里,好像也算稳定。
有稳定的朋友,有固定的生活节奏。

读书都快四年了。
下个学期之后,我会在哪里?
会住在哪?会是谁的谁?
这一切都还没有答案。

但我庆幸,过去这段路,
我遇到了很多好朋友。
他们陪我走过一段又一段,
让我学会了成长,也学会了感恩。
现在想起来,朋友真的像是
上天偷偷塞给我们的礼物。

有时候,我会问自己:
我到底在拼什么?
我最在意的,又是什么?

有时候,我懂;
有时候,我不懂。

但这就是成长吧。
不是知道所有答案,
而是学会了提问,
并愿意继续走下去。

Friday, April 1, 2011

To Feel Is to Be Brave

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances.”

— Shakespeare

If life is a stage,
then what are we really doing with our time under the spotlight?

The answer?
A lot — if we demand more from ourselves than the script.

It’s not about how long the act is.
It’s about what role you choose to play,
and why you choose to play it.

I’ve learned that a lie can circle the globe six times
before truth even laces up its shoes.
And still — I choose not to lie.

Not because I can’t.
But because I won’t.
Because lying doesn’t stand alone —
it rides on the back of debt.
And I don’t owe anyone a false version of me.

Some people say, “Nothing begins, and nothing ends.”
I understand that now.
I understand that waking up — really waking up
hurts.

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.

Yes, some are born into smooth paths.
Everything fits. Everything flows.
But here’s the truth:
You can’t be brave
if you’ve only ever had good things happen to you.

Courage isn’t comfort.
It’s choosing to feel —
even when the world tries to numb you.

“He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

I used to think that meant freedom.
Now I see it’s just another form of escape.

To feel pain,
to live in contradiction,
to wrestle with truth
and still choose to stand as yourself
maybe that’s the real performance.

And maybe, just maybe,
it’s the only one that matters.