=)

"Learn from yesterday.

Live for today.

Hope for tomorrow."

A question

"How long you take to like someone?"

A second?

A week?

Or you never know?

Now. Tell.

And Just Like That, It’s Over

Finally… it’s done.
The lights are dimmed, the crowd has scattered,
and I stood there —
watching everyone smile,
taking pictures, laughing freely.

It hit me.
We really made it.
We finished Odyssey Night.
No matter the ups and downs, no matter the flaws —
we saw it through.

And I don’t say this lightly:
without the committee, I would’ve never made it through.
To Alan, to Enson —
your presence was more than just helpful,
it was grounding.
You two were the ones I leaned on in the chaos between each moment.
Thank you, truly.

To every main and sub-committee,
every hand that lifted something,
every voice that spoke up when mine couldn’t —
thank you.
We pulled off something together.
Not perfect. Not flawless.
But real.
And that makes it perfect in its own way.

Now it’s over.
The burden’s gone.
The late nights, the pressure, the doubt —
they’ve passed.

And what’s left?
A little exhaustion.
A lot of growth.

I made mistakes.
Plenty.
But I was never alone.
And I want to say sorry — to anyone I disappointed,
and thank you — to everyone who covered my weaknesses
without needing to say a word.
You saw me, and you chose to support me anyway.
That means more than I can ever explain.

This isn’t just an ending.
It’s a lesson.
It’s a memory.
And maybe… a beginning.

Maybe one day we’ll do it again —
when the timing is right
and the people align.

But for now,
we did it.
And that’s enough.

=)

Maybe We’re All Born Unhappy

Maybe unhappiness isn't something we fall into.
Maybe it’s something we’re born with —
a quiet ache stitched into our skin before we even take our first breath.

What if this weight — this emptiness, this sorrow —
is not a malfunction of the soul,
but simply a feature of being human?

Sometimes I wonder:
Was I ever meant to feel truly joyful?
Or has my life been shaped by a kind of sadness that predates my memories —
a shadow that arrived before language?

People say,
“Be grateful. Smile more. Think positive.”
But they don't understand —
this isn’t about choosing sadness.
This is about feeling it,
being it,
because it was always there.
Not as a reaction, but as a birthmark.

I’ve often pretended —
faking a calm smile,
wearing excitement like a borrowed coat that never quite fits.
They say we shouldn’t be pessimistic.
But can a rose be blamed for its thorns?
Can grief be separated from a heart that was simply made that way?

Some people seem to walk through life effortlessly,
collecting joy like souvenirs.
For others, happiness feels foreign —
a place we visit briefly, but never stay.
Is it choice? Or is it design?

Maybe the world is filled with people just like me —
not broken, but born with a different kind of sensitivity.
The kind that turns beauty into longing,
and laughter into echo.

Does smiling through pain make me stronger?
Or just better at hiding?
And if I laugh twice for every tear,
does that make me “okay”?

Maybe I’m just tired.
Not from doing too much,
but from feeling too much
and being told not to.

Maybe we’re all born unhappy —
not entirely,
but in some small corner of our being,
where no light ever quite reaches.

And maybe the real question isn't
“Why am I like this?”
but
“What does it mean to live with this —
and still keep going?”

Be that way

Damn tired these days. Teaching basketball la, college stuff la, orientation stuff la, hang outs la, and so so many. Never mind just be that way, one of my friend told me that. Feel quite meaningful. I was wonder how to be a nice guy all the time, nonsense? XD Oh ya, here the orientation coming up next. SWC is going to rock the tarc, wahaha~ But damn headache about the preparation la. Who can help me? but actually alot people are helping me. Hope the orientation can go smoothly without accident, and all the committies can cooperate well with me. XD Dont know what to blog about. So complicated la.
I smell somethng again, what is that? You're droolin, you have a tooth decay, your mouth is open, you're disgusting, what the fuck you eat all the times? Your breathe is stink, what you say is smell like shit! But i tell you what there's not much you could do or say to phase, save your time and get yourself a cigarrete inside your neck to shut your mouth! Sometime i feel like wanna up and call it quits, i feel like i'm surrounded by a wall of bricks and everytime i go to get up a just fall. My life's like one great big ball of shit. I aint dealing with fucking politic, so dont get me into this! Feel like to puke when i think of what had you done. How come you did this to me? Piss Off!
Ok la.. Let be polite and soft! I dont meant to be that rude, people made me! Sorry ya! Hehe! I dont know what to do some more. Seriously, i dont how to blog about relation. haha! Quite strange when wanna blog about this topic. Feel so weird. Ok la, it's nothing la actually. I'm just thinking too much, but i hope there is something between us. UH!! I recall something, I blogged a part before. It's something like, what girlfriend/boyfriend means to one? What is the definition of Girlfriend? It is girlfriend should acconpany you whenever you are in trouble? Or once you make the choice to be girlfreind or boyfreind you tell the whole world you are exclusive and are commited to a relationship? It's that? Or a relation means that you should gain, through time, respect and monogomy with the person your with, based on a deep emotional connection. It obviously includes only sleeping with that person, but that type of thing shouldn't need to be addressed? Or having a girlfriend is some kind of truly loving each other, wanting to spend the rest of life together? When i read the blog again, i realize that girlfriend is nothing, the important thing is could you find a right feeling for yourself? The right feeling you should spent your life with it. I tell you what, if you found it you should grab it, dont let it slip away from your eyes. Cause you will cry for that aftermath. Im going to cry sooner. LOL! Be patient Laze. maybe that is what you need to do i think. Laze ar Laze, why har? Why everything like going in uncertain.